Making a Machery

Last night, someone googled “why are Webcor riders such assholes?” and clicked through to find my blog. I know this because I read my blog statistics like Steve Reaney reads Us Weekly.

I was taken aback, so I repeated the search myself.

The top four results are my blog. Wow. Seriously, internet?

I never realized I was so unlikable. I mean, I’m a bit rough around the edges and I’m known to be inordinately aggressive at times, but I guess I never realized how bad a reputation I have. I never meant to become the sole answer to the question, “why are webcor riders such assholes?” I want to be liked, not despised! I’ll have to work on that.

I think deep down, all of us bike-racer-bloggers just want to be liked. Allow me to give you an example.

Paul Mach (Bissell PRO Cycling) has recently posted a challenge to his prog (a prog is a blog with a .pro web address, in case you hadn’t heard).

As one of the most illustrious proggers the internet has ever seen, Mach was alarmed to find that his Facebook “athlete page” was liked by fewer individuals than both Cody Tapley (Whole Athlete) and Maxim Jenkins (United Health Care PRO Cycling). In response, Mach has decided to bribe the greater internet with a $40 gift certificate in order to become more well-liked than Tapley and Jenkins.

As of this instant, Tapley’s Facebook count is 101 “likes,” Jenkins is at 57 “likes,” and Mach has risen to 79 “likes” over the course of the day.

However, this is a totally flawed competition, and I’d hate to see someone win unfairly.

Because they’re all starting at different times, and with differing amounts of “likes” to begin with, it’s hardly sporting. This competition should be fair, even, and most of all, it should be a genuine race. Thus, I’m going to see who can become the most well-liked cycloblogger within a 48 hour time period.

This should be pretty self-explanatory. Just click on the name of the cyclist you “like” the most (in the Facebook sense of the word, whatever that is). Do it. It’s anonymous.

Exactly 48 hours from the time this post goes live, I will reveal the most- “liked” cyclist, a title earned in the fairest possible manner. Ready…Set…GO!

Note: Pat Briggs (Yahoo?) was not invited to the competition, yet he somehow weaseled his way onto the start list anyway, as always. Let’s see how he fares. I would have entered myself into the competition, but Briggs beats me at everything, so I figured I’d save myself the embarrassment.

8 responses to “Making a Machery

  1. are you kidding me? of course Briggs all the way! no question.

  2. What if Tapley just votes for himself 100 times? I want this supremely important competition to be free of even the shadow of doubt over it’s legitimacy. And you just in Tapley is the type to do it too…

  3. is there a place to write in for Ricardo Ricco?

  4. Having ridden with Paul, Max, and Cody (aka Taps).
    If you vote for who looks the coolest while in motion?
    Well Taps is just plain hard to beat! : )

  5. You have Briggs confused with McKook. I know, easy to do.

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