Yukie Loves JLD

It’s been a good weekend for several reasons:

1. Eric Riggs (Team Awesome) won the San Ardo RR in spite of the fact that Kevin Klein finally re-gained control of his Yahoo? cycling team and played team leader for the day.

In addition, Chris Stasny continued the recent road racing successes of the CalGiant Eunuch Squad, following last week’s Tyler Brandt/John Bennett 2nd/3rd combo at Dunnigan Hills with a top five of his own. I can’t wait to see how fast those kids are when they hit puberty.

2. I ate the worlds most perfect hamburger and drank several perfect 22oz beers, both courtesy of the Bear Republic Brewing Company.

Allow me to bestow you with a little bit of knowledge: eating ridiculously oversized hamburgers and beers is actually a sound dieting technique because it makes you look smaller in comparison.

3. I managed to win a bike race, this time over a disturbingly-fit-for-the-amount-he-trains Mitch Trux (Metromint). I have to assume all the “dieting” I’m doing these days has paid off.

Mitch, Peter Nicholson (NorCalBikeSport) and Brandon Trafton (CalGiant Eunuch Squad) laid down some serious power to secure a 1:20 gap over the field, then realized they didn’t want to win a flaming toilet seat and handed the victory to me.

Alas, awesome Sundays are invariably followed by Monday drudgery, so I’ll throw the cycling community a bone and toss some Hot Metromint Girl at you.

Jessica Layman Day, which has seemingly migrated from Friday to Monday, appeals to a very diverse demographic. Before I get into that, I present to you: Jessica Layman — Corporate Sellout.

I guess Max and I are not the only ones whoring ourselves out to bike companies, but I’m certain that — unlike Skeletor Jenkins and I — Jessica’s advertisement helped sell Garmin GPS systems. Tyler Farrar, Ryder Hesjedal, and company: you each owe Jessica a beer.

As you’re undoubtedly aware, I failed to post Jessica Layman Day on Friday as I had originally intended. I failed to do so because I had two social engagements to attend down in Silicon Valley and also had to…you know…work for the remainder of the day; in spite of what you might be led to believe by the likes of Bike Snob and Mike Hernandez, blogging is not a financially sound career choice.

Anyway, at one of my social engagements I ran into Metromint’s Yukie Nakamura, the NCNCA’s most prolific Facebooker/Twitterer.

“Rand, why did you not post Jessica Layman Day?” exclaimed Yukie angrily. She then proceeded to demand that I post JLD immediately, and gave me a remarkably scornful look when I suggested “Justin Fraga Day” as an alternative.

Who would have guessed that the diminutive Asian females of the cycling world would be the greatest proponents of JLD? Not I.

So there you go, Yukie. For all the rest of you ladies, you can expect a Justin Fraga Day in the near future; I hear through the grapevine he’s doing a semi-nude photoshoot sometime soon.

6 responses to “Yukie Loves JLD

  1. It is nice to know that some things don’t change. I have traveled across the US, catching those moment windows into other people‚Äôs lives from so many walks of life, all struggling to earn a living in these hard economic times. I am forever grateful the ability to return to this space for ridiculously oversized hamburgers and beers, corporate sellouts and (the other side of the coin) cyclists who have somehow been blessed with sponsors who foot the bills for their passions, plus photos of said corporate sellouts with strategic product placement that brings a sexual slant to a rather non sexual product, and of course Rand holding a flaming toilet seat above his head.

  2. 1. That burger has it’s own orbit. Keep it up and your ass is going to be bigger than the universe someday, which might be worth trying since it will conveniently balance out your head ;)
    2. I think you need to give one to Yukie
    3. Who keeps giving out Corona *Light* for podiums? I tried to give that swill to a bum the other day and he wouldn’t even take it.
    4. Real girls do not skip cheesecake – stupid marketers.

  3. I have that same toilet seat. I can’t bring myself to install it though. The ladies just wouldn’t understand what it took to obtain it. Perhaps someday I will live in a house with a “torlet” that appears to be on fire.

  4. Sluggo: I’ll install it if you do, but I’ll need photographic evidence, as inappropriate as that might be.

    Layman: Corona Light is for real men who want to maintain their rugged features. Like Mitch.

    Ronin: You know you love it.

  5. mitch’s poise takes first to your lady like locks.

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