Fame and Fortune

You know you’ve made it in the world of bike racing when you’ve got trading cards, but the only true indication of fame and fortune is a major advertising campaign.

Well, it seems that Pro Racer Max Jenkins is the new face of bargain buys from Voler.

If only he could shave an additional 20% off his weight, he might be able to drop Phil Mooney on the climbs*.

Now, If I was Rory Sutherland I’d be a little self-conscious; while the text is about him, the marketing guys apparently prefer the aesthetic appeal of Max Jenkins’ dainty features. Interesting choice.

Now, I hate to be outdone by Max — as evidenced by my own trading card — so I figure I ought to point out that while Max only recently began peddling his used chamois on Velowear.com, I’ve been whoring myself out to bicycle companies for quite some time.

All that aside, in the same advertisement, I found this bad boy up for grabs.

I just purchased one and I intend to wear it whenever current Amateur Criterium National Champion Steve Reaney (CalGiant) or recently-crowned USPro Criterium National Champion Daniel Holloway (Bissell) is present.

It’s pretty awesome that our district produced the two current National Champions, and I’m excited to see Daniel sporting his new stars and stripes kit — presumably with matching, garish, badass Oakley Jawbones — in the near future.

Speaking of Dan’s awesome win, I should point out that this magnanimous Bissell rider lent me a Williams Cycling water bottle on the Valley Ride approximately one month ago; since that date, I’ve racked up six consecutive top-five finishes and two wins. Thanks for the lucky water bottle, Dan!

Now, I should point out that my Clean Bottles are also likely suspects in the search for my inexplicable late-season fitness.

I typically don’t recommend doing…well…anything that I do related to cycling, but I suggest you hop aboard the Clean Bottle style train. Not unlike tall socks and white cycling shoes, it’s cool if we all do it.

*You don’t need to lose weight, Max. That was just me projecting my own insecurities.

2 responses to “Fame and Fortune

  1. How can you post that picture from Nats and NOT mention Candelario’s use of skin-suit and jersey? Surely that is worth at least pointing and laughing at?

  2. Candy’s shit is about to flop out creating a rather awkward trading card.

    Neither one looks too happy to be beaten by the man-child, do they?

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