NCNCA Calendar Fail

Can anyone guess the proud owner of this bike? It should be pretty obvious; a TT frame with road bars and a Zipp 1080/808 combo is more or less a physical manifestation of this rider’s personality. I’ve disguised his team kit so as to make him harder to identify.

You still can’t get it? I’ll give you a hint: he recently began looking like “a naked mole-rat” as a result of his newly-buzzed head. (Note: I would never refer to this guy as a naked mole-rat, hence the quotation marks. That was someone else’s mistake.)

Anyway, that “pimped” ride is f*&king awesome, and I want it pretty badly.

Well…I guess I should clarify. First, I want a badass time trial bike that actually has TT bars on it, because my current “time trial bike” is a Frankenstein of vaguely aerodynamic equipment spanning about a decade. Only after I obtain a real TT bike will I feel compelled to build a criterium-specific, aerodynamic freakshow like Mr. Breakaway up there has done.

Here’s a photograph of my downright offensive “TT bike” snuggled up next to Billy Crane’s sick Orbea for contrast.

At an NRC stage race a few years ago, the official who was in charge of weighing time trial bikes lifted my ten-year-old LeMond about five inches off the ground, snickered, and set it back down. “I don’t even need to bother weighing this POS,” he said. He continued chuckling as he hoisted it up onto into the start gate. As you might imagine, that was embarrassing for me as well as for my portly bicycle.

Oh well. It’s not like I intend to time trial ever again, so what do I need a nice TT bike for?


The only available races this coming weekend are the Mount Diablo HCTT and the high-altitude District Championship ITT. Yes, I’m aware there’s a track race on Saturday, but I’m not quite ready for that just yet; I haven’t had time to rob a hipster in the Mission District, so I’m still without a fixed-gear bike. I even considered driving to the Death Valley Stage race in order to avoid hills, Hellyer, and time trials. No such luck: that race is nothing but climbing.


One response to “NCNCA Calendar Fail

  1. Ooo, ooo, I know who that bike belongs too.! Missed seeing it out on the Valley Ride last night too. Ah, gave a clue now didn’t I?

    NCNCA Passed! They picked a perfect weekend for me to go to SD and not miss a crit with Rand… if he shows up. ;)

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