OK, What the Hell?

Anyone that has ever been, currently is, or ever plans to be poor (IE, every graduate student) should know about a site called Steep and Cheap (http://www.steepandcheap.com).

This website sells steeply discounted outdoorsy merchandise in a time-dependent fashion, one item at a time. If you procrastinate enough to constantly look at the site, or if you time your visits to the site perfectly, you can score unbelievably inexpensive apparel and equipment.

A while ago, Steep and Cheap offloaded its cycling merchandise to an aptly-named sister store called Chain Love (http://www.chainlove.com). I usually visit both sites once per week, which means I miss most of the good deals.

Today, I visited Chain Love during a fifteen minute radioactive incubation. The jersey, as you can see, is ugly as hell and appropriately inexpensive. However, I actually laughed aloud at the sentence in small writing near the banner. If you click on the photograph, you can probably read it.

Roadies Rejoice! 80% Off roadie gear — bonktown.com

Bonktown. The name of the “roadie” specific site is Bonktown? What the F&*K? Bonktown is almost certainly the name of a bad porn flick. I didn’t bother checking, because searching for porn at work tends to be frowned upon.

Beyond that, why in God’s name would you put the word “bonk” in the title of your cycling website? Bonking is what happens when you suck. “Bonking” has no positive connotations in the cycling world. That just seems like bad marketing, but I’m guessing anyone that even comes up with the word “bonktown” isn’t in tune with the world of marketing.

I visited the site, hoping for a $40 pair of Oakley Radars or $60 pair of white Sidi Genius shoes. The $33 baselayer I found instead is not enough to lure me back.

While I’m complaining, let me just say that I despise the word “bonking.” Bonking is what happens to Freds, and it ought to be used by Freds alone. If you’re reading my blog, I strongly suggest you remove “bonking” from your lexicon and replace it with the word “cracking” or “imploding.”

Even better, if you try not to suck at cycling, you might not need to use those words at all. Try “attacking” or “crushing souls” or “winning” instead.

One response to “OK, What the Hell?

  1. Pingback: Fred Socks « Counterattacking Reality

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