One of the great benefits of being a blogger is the ability to make friends with people you’ve never actually met, people you meet on the internet. All you can do is act friendly in return and pray that they’re not 45 year old perverts looking to stalk you. I’ve had good luck so far…
You’ve probably seen him at a ‘cross race or two this past season if you live in Northern California. In fact, if you’re local cyclocross star Josh Snead, you’ve probably almost gotten punched in the face at said races.
Anyway, the man beneath the suit is local racer and Clean Bottle founder Dave Mayer, an avid reader of my blog and a pretty frequent blogger in his own right. Because of my blog — or perhaps simply because I will do anything for any amount of free bike stuff — Dave has been supplying me with his unique, distinctive, totally stylish bottles for about eight months. I think it’s more or less a personal sponsorship by now…maybe it’s time for a “defining the relationship” talk.
Now, I’ve heard a few of you out there claim that Clean Bottles are “dorky,” or something to that effect, and I would like to halt such accusations with a few examples of the bottle’s undorkiness.
First of all, the bartender at a divey joint located directly between my laboratory and my house was recently spotted sporting a Clean Bottle behind the bar. This gives the bottles instant street cred.
In addition, if you’re ever in a pinch and need to imbibe liquid really quickly out of a water bottle — let’s say, in the event you are caught trying to sneak beer into a concert — the Clean Bottle provides the most rapid fluid consumption in it’s class (when used in the alternative “Boat Race Mode”).
All that aside, they actually are remarkably easy to clean and function otherwise exactly like your favorite, run-of-the-mill water bottle…which is the point, after all.
Clean Bottle Dave recently offered to produce a limited run of customized “Counterattacking Reality” Clean Bottles, presumably to my specification.
So, I guess what I’m saying is that all you haters can suck my bottles, because that’s pretty “Pro.” Thanks, Dave!
Now, when I eventually get around to designing my custom waterbottles, I’m going to need an awesome logo — one that captures the essence of this blog, reflects my irreverent outlook on bike racing, and is colored to match my little green goblin outfit.
This need for a logo leads me to my second entirely-digital acquaintance, Slonie. Slonie is the artist behind the viral comicbook depiction of the sport of cyclocross, which you must read now if you haven’t already. Somehow, this guy happened across my blog in the midst of my cyclocross adventures this offseason and has been commenting on my inane posts ever since.
Slonie was kind enough — or creepy enough, depending on your perspective — to throw together a quick sketch of me in the same vein as his ‘cross cartoons. Here’s what he produced.
Mom and Dad, I promise I’ve never flipped anyone off in a bike race. Apparently my pencil-and-paper alter ego is just a f*&king a*&hole, though. Sorry.
Anyway, how cool is that? I have a caricature! I think Slonie’s still working on the drawing as we speak, and when he’s satisfied with the final product, I’m going to start slapping that logo all over the place — T-shirts, Clean Bottles, stickers, my bike’s headtube, etc., etc.
With the 2011 season premiere only about 40 hours away, I’m even more excited about my customized accessories. I feel like Barbie awaiting her first date with Ken…or something like that.
To those of you in Northern California: I’ll see you on Saturday in Sacramento at the Cal Aggie Crit. To those of you elsewhere: I hope to see you someday, or at least become digitally acquainted with you soon.