Better Late Than Never

The bike racing discussions from this weekend will come a bit later; f0r now, here’s some random shit involving photographs, primarily of people’s faces.

I seem to have missed Jessica Layman Day, which took place on Friday. I apologize, mostly to all of you internet creepers who have been googling “Jessica Layman” or “hot metromint girl.” Weirdos.

Now it’s no secret that I’m not very good with the ladies, and many of you are probably thinking to yourself, “There’s no way Jessica actually hangs out with Rand. I bet they’re not really friends.” Well, here’s proof that I’m cool enough to hang out with Hot Metromint Girl.

Admittedly, that’s mostly a gratuitous taint-shot of myself and less of a Jessica Layman Day-worthy picture. I apologize and offer the following as retribution.

I bet you never knew you had a lazy eye fetish, did you?

A while ago, I sang the praises of awesome photographer Paul Doran and lauded his ability to capture the essence of bike racing in riders’ faces. Well, he scored another direct hit with this one.

That’s exactly how I feel about getting beaten by Pat Briggs last weekend at Timpani — but then again, I take bike racing really seriously. Really seriously.

So does RHVilla’s Elliot Jarramillo, apparently, who got facialized by a rock (I believe that’s the proper use of the word ) on a mountain bike ride last week. Thankfully, photographer Rob Evans — also of RHVilla — had his photography backdrop already set up at home for some portrait work.

Most people with grievous face injuries might take the weekend off, but not Elliot; I happened upon him at registration at today’s Suisun Harbor Criterium looking pretty chipper for a dude with a hole in his temple. He raced the event like a champion.

What a badass.

Speaking of badass, I just received a Facebook wall post from Sterling Magnell that I think is rather entertaining. My badass 1990 Honda Prelude agrees.

Now, I have trouble imagining that “tits” — when used in this context, or any for that matter — means anything besides “awesome”; well, you know you’re awesome when you get a compliment like that from a guy who looks like this.

Hey Sterling: that nip-slip is tits.

That picture is from Sterling’s blog/website, which is so badass it crashes Firefox; you should probably use Safari instead.

I recommend you check out the site, if for no other reason than to read the stories from his tenure at Rock Racing a few years ago. That, and for the McGuire Cycling video, which is pure YouTube gold.

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