Nooooooooo!!!

As I was hanging my jacket in the closet a few minutes ago, I came across a snack that I had squirreled away into the left breast pocket a few days ago: a package of Dark Chocolate Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Even though I had started boiling water for pasta and had just begun sauteing vegetables, I couldn’t resist opening the beautiful brown and orange package for a quick nibble.

One thing led to another, and before I knew it, “one nibble” had turned into an all out face-stuffing. As I jammed the second of the two confections into my mouth, I opened my computer and began perusing the NCNCA forums. I nearly choked on peanut-buttery goodness when I read the following thread regarding the Topsport Stage Race.

Allow me to direct your attention to “Sub’s” response to “CPhipps”:

Thanks Chris, I’m on top of that issue. Have a couple RR course change options in mind so we won’t be doing that again next year. You will especially like the changes I have in mind.

Anyone who knows Chris Phipps will immediately understand the dire implications of this response: they are planning to include some sort of hill in the Topsport Stage Race.

Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

As I mentioned in my previous post, this year’s edition of the Topsport Stage Race was the first totally flat stage race in the history of bike racing; in fact, it was so flat that even peanut butter cup-eating crit racers (a breed of cyclist referred to as “critters” from here on) could finish all three stages!

Topsport organizers: please don’t pander to these newfangled “fit athletes” like Chris Phipps by adding hills. Capable climbers have races like Cascade, Mount Hood, San Dimas and Redlands where they can demonstrate how little they weigh. Can’t you leave just one stage race for the critters? Please?

Now, I know that there are other critters and fatties out there–in fact, I know that several of them read this blog–who don’t stand a chance in a hilly stage race. Let’s revolt! Are you with me? (Feel free to use the comment section to sound off against these hillclimbing villains!)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some dinner to eat. Lots of it.

4 responses to “Nooooooooo!!!

  1. I’m with you! This is my favorite blog entry you’ve ever written. Keep up the good work.

  2. So. Much.

    Rumor has it that Chico will be rolling at most. And it’s up against Sea Otter which ought to lure the Phipps types…

    • The way you’re riding these days (ref. POO ride), you can probably outclimb me, so don’t pretend to like only flat races.

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