Sucking at Cycling, Part II

“Want to get some beers later?”

That’s the text message I received last Sunday night. After two consecutive nights without adequate sleep, and 100% of my weekend ride time spent above my lactate threshold, I should have said no. Sleep would have been great for my health.

Instead, I ended up playing darts at a bar with my buddy. That’s how it always begins with this particular friend: a couple beers, a couple games of darts, and some good laughs. However, our outings tend to become…adventures. This particular evening started out surprisingly mellow, and it seemed as if we were going to buck the trend of ridiculous festivities.

That’s when the jovial, 50-year-old lady with the thick accent came walking through the back door.

This lady was unlike any Cougar either of us had ever encountered; unabashedly forward, instantly touchy-feely, and completely frightening. When she saw us–two unsupervised, young men with no women in sight–she looked as if she had found a $100 bill lying in the gutter. Within minutes, she had gently groped each of us, called us “beautiful boys” and “yummy,” and had begun forcibly extracting dart-throwing lessons from us. Neither of us could figure out how to rid ourselves of our new friend, and even the classic “we’re a gay couple” defense failed to distract her from her flirtation.

The evening got way weirder, but that’s all I’m going to say in a permanent, public forum such as this. If you want to hear the rest, let me know and we’ll discuss it over a couple of beers and dinner. And no, it’s not what you’re probably thinking, you pervert.

Monday and Tuesday were rough for me, scientifically speaking. I was scheduled to present my research on Wednesday morning, and I had a lot of data to analyze before that date. In keeping with the theme of this post, I slept fewer than six hours on Monday night and fewer than three hours on Tuesday night. From 7pm Tuesday until 3:30am on Wednesday, I stared at protein mass spec. data, which looks something like this.

As you might imagine, eight and a half consecutive hours analyzing those spiky, black and white spectra began to drive me mad. My mind began converting the images into dinosaurs, harps, hedgehogs, and jail cells. When I finally laid down to sleep, I saw nothing but mass spectra spinning wildly through my field of vision.

I awoke early, finished putting together the Powerpoint slides for my presentation, and powered down several shots of espresso. The presentation went smoothly.

By Wednesday evening, it became clear that my body was displeased with my shenanigans. I could feel extreme fatigue setting in, and with it a hint of a cold. I awoke on Thursday morning, after a much-needed 10 hours of sleep, with mild nasal congestion and a sore throat

Even though it was Thursday, I had not touched a bicycle since I left Fort Ord on Sunday afternoon. In case you’ve forgotten, the title of this post is “Sucking at Cycling.” Anyway, I couldn’t bear the thought of going the entire week without a ride, so I snuck out for a brief spin on the mountain bike as the sun was going down.

It’s amazing, but those paltry 55 minutes of riding went a long way toward regenerating my spirits. Apparently, all it takes for me to feel good about myself these days is a single, sub-hour-long ride per week!

A friend of mine insists that I ought to forgo blogging for sleeping, and I must say…she’s right. I might throw down a third installment in the SaC series tomorrow, or maybe I’ll switch gears. Either way, I think I’m going to head to bed.

Before I go…check out the latest shitstorm to hit the NCNCA forums. Ladies and gentlemen, this could get ugly.

2 responses to “Sucking at Cycling, Part II

  1. Holy F-U-C-K. Glad I’m not on the BoD…hope they get that figured out quick.

    • I’m really unclear what the impact will be on the races in our district…but I have to imagine there will be repercussions felt by all members of the NCNCA. It will be interesting to see how it all shakes out.

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