Statistically Insignificant

Blog statistics pages are fun because they feed you small, meaningless, captivating bits of information about your site: how many people have visited, what they clicked on, and what search terms they used to find your page. These bits of information serve absolutely no purpose–at least not for the recreational bloggist like me–but they’re also alluring because they’re the only link to a mostly anonymous readership.

Anyway, my blog statistics have caused me to realize my insignificance. The most frequent search terms used to discover my blog (linked to the posts they find) are as follows:

1) chad gerlach

2) tom petty and foo fighters

3) cadel evans

4) jan ullrich

What is this, a celebrity cyclist gossip blog? I thought I was recording my thoughts, hopes and dreams, but it seems I’m just talking smack about a bunch of pro bike racers. Maybe that’s the niche I’m meant to fill. Maybe that’s all I’m worth. Is my life really that boring? Doesn’t anyone sit there, alone at their computer in the middle of the night, searching “grad school depression,” or “can midget bike racers really succeed,” or “mullet squirrel head?”

I guess not.

Anyway, the funniest part is that those search terms do not turn up my blog until roughly page 25 of a Google search. This makes me wonder, how many articles about Cadel Evans is someone reading in one sitting? How boring must that person’s life be?

The bottom line is that, in order to increase my blog’s presence on the internet, I’ve decided to randomly insert the names of professional bike racers into my posts. Something like this: Alberto Contador, Lance Armstrong, Eddy Merckx, Rahsaan Bahati, Ludo Dierckxsens, Franco Pelizotti, Ben Jacques-Maynes.

Let’s see if that works.

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